Week 15: Franklin

Anyone else struggling to list the virtue that requires the most improvement?  Lol!  I can’t choose. Darn it!  15 weeks in and I’m still indecisive about whether or not it should be persistent or self-discipline……maybe it should be decisiveness. Lol!  I love how much this program makes me look at myself in all my glory – flaws and strengths!

Persistence is defined as the firm continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.

Self-Discipline is defined as the ability to control ones feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right, despite the temptation to abandon it.

When I read these definitions, they seem very similar, which probably explains my hesitation to choose. Phew!  Lol!  I think my greatest area of improvement is staying the course….following the path that I set forth, despite obstacles.

I will persist!

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Week 14: Why are Some More Driven Than Others?

I loved watching these movies. I had already seen all but “Door to Door” years ago, but enjoyed watching them again. The odds that these people overcame and the determination and passion that they showed in the face of adversity is humbling. Each movie brought me to tears….more than once.   The human spirit is a beautiful thing.  

However, I find myself wondering how these men found the courage, determination and even the clarity around DMP to differentiate themselves from the rest of us who follow the road most traveled. What made them different?  We talk about having a definite purpose backed by a burning desire. Where does it come from?  What makes Rudy or the Jamaicans want it more than the next guy?  I understand how having the plan, doing the action, remaining positive and having support enable the outcome, but it’s the starting point that baffles me.  It’s the burning desire….seems that is the key to me. The DMP…the Dharma.  Why do some have it and others don’t?  Why can’t I find it?

I watched “Cool Runnings” with my boys and we talked about the DMP of the Jamaicans. As I was lying in bed that night with my 10 year old, I questioned my DMP.  He told me it was to be a mother. He’s right. It always was; however, is there something more?  Is that enough?  I think my trouble is that I still don’t have a burning desire….other than being a good mother to my children.  I wonder if it’s because I am content. I don’t have a pain point. I have a wonderful husband, fantastic children, my health, a beautiful home, clothing, food, family and friends. I am truly blessed.  No burning desire to change anything.  Sure, I’d love the things on my DMP to come to be, but it’s ok if things stay the same.  See…no burning desire.  Yikes!  Is that wrong?  Is the fact that I’m trying to find one keeping me in cement?  Do I feel pressure as an achiever to achieve for the sake of expectations?  Am I not allowing myself to accept my blessings and be content because I’m afraid I will be judged as unmotivated or the girl who threw away her education?  Sigh..truly confused. 

Week 13: The Gift of Choice

A wise mkmmaer read my last blog and called me on it!  :-). Renee told me that I’ve been given the gift of choice. She’s right!  I am blessed with many choices and sometimes wish I wasn’t. Is it a blessing or a curse?   Do I want to control my destiny or have someone else dictate my choices?

I never in a million years would have thought the I would ever want anyone to control my choices. I’m a Leo!  A strong, independent woman!  A control freak who doesn’t like to be told what to do!  However, when push comes to shove and I get the chance to make my own choices, I fumble. I find myself longing for the mindless bliss of going to corporate America and being a cog in the wheel. Let someone else be responsible for the thinking. Holy cow!!  I don’t even know who I am!  Who is Roxanne McGrath and what is her bliss?  Am I who I think I am or who the world wants me to be?  Searching for answers….peace be the journey.

Week 12: Blurred Vision

In reading a fellow MKMMAer’s blog today, I found a way to express how I am feeling.  She hit the nail completely on the head!  Alina Mehalic shares the following passage from her blog http://masterkey.yourreasonforsuccess.com/……

But your ideal must be sharp, clear-cut, definite; to have one ideal today, another tomorrow, and a third next week, means to scatter your forces and accomplish nothing; your result will be a meaningless and chaotic combination of wasted material.

This is how I have been feeling for most of my adult life….at least since I became a mother, left corporate America and have been struggling to find my purpose, other than being a good wife and mother, ever since.  I flit from idea to idea, convinced that this next new thing is the right path for me.  I busy myself doing a little for a lot of organizations and have no clear direction.  My forces are truly scattered.  Time to reel them in and focus!

Thank you Alina for helping me to clarify how I am feeling right now!  Still trying to find my true north and trying to patiently trust in the process.

Week 11: Still Stuck in Cement

As we roll through week 11, I find that despite the fact that I am seeing all kinds of positive changes in my life, my family and my business, I still feel that something is not quite right.  I walk around with my compass each day, searching for my true north and am still floundering.

I can’t shake the feeling that my DMP is not what it needs to be.  I am not being completely true to myself and still have not located my true north.  Sigh!  I am still stuck in that cement….still trying to build a DMP from the river of dreams.  Don’t get me wrong, several things in my DMP are right on – like wanting family time at dinner, and more time with my husband, searching for the path to a strong, healthy family unit…..it’s all good.  However, when I come back to my purpose…my mission…my passion, I’m lost.  Am I living an authentic life when it comes to my career choice….I don’t know.  Am I cheating the gal in the glass….I just might be.

I will sit and meditate and keep moving forward with the intention and the knowledge that my true north is in me and I will find it.

….and in re-reading this post , I see that I have totally blown my mental diet.  🙂  Start that clock over please………

Week 10: Sharing the Wealth

The magnitude of what we are working on in this program continues to astound me.  I find myself wanting to share this work, this knowledge with everyone and wishing that this program was available to all right now.

As a health coach, I have found myself using what I am learning in my practice…the relevance of what we are learning ties so intimately with the work that I do with clients.  We now know that the decisions that we make…around relationships, career, health, and yes…food choices is tied to our subby.  One of the greatest challenges of my profession is to help people understand why they are making the choices that they are making.  I can tell them what to eat and when to exercise, but I can’t make them do it.  Oftentimes, THEY can’t make themselves do it.  Smart, capable, competent people who KNOW what they want and KNOW how to get it, but can’t seem to make it happen.  It’s baffling….or at least it used to be baffling!

Through this MKMMA program, I am beginning to get a glimpse of how to help others.  Just the other day I had a client tell me that he was really unhappy with his career path and was interested in taking a detour.  When I asked him what was holding him back, he said that he just needed to make the time and that he is a procrastinator.  From one to another I said…. 🙂  I told him to start saying “do it now” to himself and see what happens.  Obviously, that one mantra isn’t going to change his world, but damn if it doesn’t have impact!  He emailed me the next morning and told me that it really works!!  He was starting to accomplish things in just 24 hours.  He felt motivated when he said it.  ….then he asked me about MKMMA and wanted to know if he could sign up…sigh.  3 more years until I can share this with others???

Week 9: The Magic Continues

Several weeks into this journey, I noticed stunning positive growth in my business, my productivity and my attitude.  The magic continues to happen!

One of my goals from my DMP is to have more family time…specifically to have dinner with my family 5 evenings per week.  That may not sound that impressive to some of you, but if you have school-aged children who are active in sports and clubs AND a husband who has a 1-2 hour commute one-way to work every day, you’ll understand why the idea of having a meal together as a family is a challenge most week nights.  We are constantly running in a million different directions and the only time that we have to really connect as a family is at dinner.  Unfortunately, most nights it just doesn’t happen.

Prior to the past week or so, we would be doing good if we all sat down together 3 days a week.  That is probably the best that we could manage.  That has all started to change in the last week or so.  My youngest son, Connor, who is almost 10 years old made a comment to me the other day that one of my “shape goals” is already starting to happen.  He recognized that we have had dinner together as a family 5 out of the last 6 nights.  Holy cow!!  Not only is it happening, but my son sees it.  He’s aware of my goal, and is making the connection himself.  It’s so exciting on so many levels!

So once again, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I give thanks to the entire MKMMA crew and mastermind team (all of you) who are helping me to uncover my truth and make the magic happen!  Have a wonderful holiday and be well!